Marking the Passage of Time

Do you ever have the same events happen year after year (aside from birthdays) and look back and reflect on how life has changed?  I find myself constantly doing that especially now with kiddos.  And, oh my, what a difference a year makes this year right now!  Yesterday was the first day of VBS for the kids.  We had a great time!  The boys are with their grade levels, Penelope is in the nursery with other friends, and Stella is with me as I volunteer in the kitchen.  Last year at this time I had Stella with me as well...11 weeks pregnant with her.  I spent this time last year in the hospital.  And the several weeks prior as well as another 11 weeks after, throwing up so much that the kids practically didn't give it a second thought and took to imitating me.  I much prefer where and how I'm spending my time now :)

 

Blessings and Thank you

I realized this morning before Mass started that I have not thanked everyone who prayed for Stella and me during my pregnancy and delivery. 

Prior to Mass starting,the cantors sang the song, Blessings by Laura Story.  I'd never heard this song at Mass before.  I've heard it twice now in the last week.  I haven't heard it since March.  I can't hear it without getting teary eyed or crying.  When I heard it in March, it was just after a miscarriage.  At the time, obviously, I had no idea of the blessings I would receive as time went on.  We found out in April that we were pregnant again, and again unexpectedly.  The miscarriage was my first cycle in 3 years, then to immediately get pregnant again...so many emotions.  Our doctor said we could be cautiously optimistic about the pregnancy. 

I found myself being much more private about this pregnancy, but at the same time needing and asking for prayers.  I was humbled from the beginning.  I was tired and didn't feel well--as is normal with early pregnancy.  Then I had to start progesterone injections.  I continued to feel sicker and throw up so often that it didn't phase my kids anymore and they would even mimic me. 

By June when I was just about 11 weeks along I found myself in the hospital for 3 days to rehydrate and recover from some anemia.  It took the rest of June before I finally had some energy back.  I was determined that we'd go on our family vacation to the beach and south Texas to see Jaime's extended family.  In August school started and then we had our sonogram.  We'd had a couple early on due to the previous miscarriage and when I was in the hospital, but this was the exciting one.  This was the one where we got to find out boy or girl, see baby's profile, hands, and feet.  Also, I was finally starting to feel better!  It'd been a LONG 22 weeks!  At my next prenatal visit we found out that not all was well.  The radiologist suspected something called amniotic bands.  These could cause malformations, amputations, or death of the baby.  A week later we met with the perinatologist for a level 2 sonogram.  Relief swept over us as he ruled out amniotic bands, but then he diagnosed velamentous insertion of the umbilical cord.  Not near as serious as amniotic bands, but still a serious condition.  We started our weekly sonograms and non-stress tests.  Many many prayers were prayed.  We thank everyone who prayed for us.  We have truly been blessed to have you in our lives, to have you to pray for us, and to now hold a healthy baby girl.  I pray that 2012 brings you many blessings and much happiness.

Missing

I write this next tid-bit of info knowing that my dear husband will have more than one comment to share with me about it....
I miss being pregnant.  After Penelope, I was so done.  This time around I spent so much time sick, tired, with varicose veins out the ying-yang, who-ha, and everywhere else, then the last week of pregnancy the cholestasis.  I spent so much time thinking and saying that this time was definitely the last time--my body just couldn't take pregnancy anymore.  Now, here I am a week and about 2 days post-pregnancy and I miss it.  I also can't wait to get back in shape.  Okay, I'm boarding the crazy train now :)

One Week Ago

About a week ago I had my usual hospital day--Mondays were sonogram and non-stress test days.  I was 39 weeks and 2 days.  I figured this baby was staying in through the new year!  She was so comfortable in there, but I was getting quite uncomfortable.  At about 38 weeks, I developed Cholestasis again and had planned on discussing induction with my doctor despite my aversion to being induced.  While having my non-stress test, my doctor called the hospital to discuss a development that was found on the sonogram that I'd just had.  Dr H. called to tell me that I had polyhydramnios--too much amniotic fluid. I had double the amount that I should.  My nurse had told him about my itching and I shared about it with him as well.  Then he said, "In light of these 2 serious developments as well as the velamentous insertion of the umbilical cord, I think we need to induce you."  As much as I wanted to hear that, I didn't want to hear it either.  I was induced with my first baby due to Cholestasis, I had recently watched the Business of Being Born (which I HIGHLY recommend!), and I have terrible fears of being cut open--a C-section is one of my biggest fears when pregnant.  After having 2 natural births after my first induction, I knew another induction would be hard and could easily end in me having a C-section.  I knew though that this time things were out of my hands.  For my daughter's well-being, we needed to get her out.  I agreed to be induced the next evening.  We were scheduled to arrive at the hospital for a 6pm induction.  Knowing my feelings on interventions during labor, my doctor said he'd break my water in the morning if necessary and he also agreed to wait as long as possible on the pitocin and hopefully avoid it.  Dr H is a pretty awesome doctor. :)  Jaime wanted to arrive at the hospital closer to 5pm so that we could get things started sooner.  I drug my feet, showered, took pictures, made sure everything was ready to go for the next couple of days for the kids (they still had a day left of school before the Christmas break), and ate dinner--thank you, Azadeh for the delicious chicken Marsala, rice, and broccoli.

We got to the hospital at 5:50pm.  Check-in is at the ER. In the past we've always checked in then headed directly upstairs to Labor and Delivery.  That night we checked in and then were told to wait.  Eventually we got to go up.  We walked in to the LD area and were told to wait.  I've never seen that place so busy!  So many rooms were full!  After a couple of minutes, we did get a room, 529.

I got to say hi to some nurses that I'd come to know over that past 3 months of weekly visits.  We got settled in to our room and thought things would get started right away.  While answering the various questions while getting ready, we found out that not only were they extremely busy, but there were 3 C-sections that were getting ready to occur.  My thoughts weren't good with this news.  I hoped that this info wasn't a foreshadowing of what I was in for.  I still had some questions regarding the induction and type of medicine that was going to be used, so I talked with my nurse, Christi, and on the phone with my doctor.  Finally, I was confident in the method we were going to use--Cervidil--and with the way we were going to proceed.  The Cervidil could be removed.  I liked the idea of starting with the medicine, then getting rid of it when my body could proceed naturally.  The medicine was put in at 8pm, I was dilated to a 2 and 50% effaced--I'd been this way for a couple weeks.  I had about an hour and a half where I tried resting and sleeping through contractions.  From 9:30-10:30 I had to start breathing through them more.  From 10:30-11:30pm, I was fairly uncomfortable and having to really focus and breathe through the contractions.  Sometime before midnight I agreed to being checked again.  I was fully effaced and at a 3.  I about died! Only a 3!!! I was going to be working all night long! The contractions were pretty close together.  Outside of getting up to go to the bathroom--which I chose to do every 45-60 minutes--I had to stay laying in bed because of the medicine.  Knowing that is the WORST place to be while in labor, I flipped from side to side about every 15 minutes, stretched my legs and made walking motions through every contraction.  By midnight I was begging my nurse to let me get up and walk around or at least sit up and rock.  She said as long as she could get a good strip of heart rate from the baby I'd be allowed to get up and the medicine would be removed.  Well, the medicine was removed, but we weren't getting continuous good heart rate.  My dear nurse let me sit up and she hand held the monitor in place through all my moving so that we could get off the monitor.  We were also told that our doctor was there (had been there, and I think had even come in a couple of times) and was staying because the roads were getting icy.  He was open to breaking my water since I was fully effaced.  I was so torn.  I didn't want that C-section.  I agreed to being checked and trying a jacuzzi bath--the back labor was strong.  This was about 1am.  I was so torn about being checked. I even told the nurse if she checked me and told me I was only at a 5 that I would be crushed.  She said if that was the case she'd let me enjoy a bath :) Ha! if I only knew what that bath would bring.  Well, I was checked, I was a 5, she promised that I would dilate faster now because I was fully effaced, and she started that bath for me.  During all these contractions, I was having to have Jaime remind me not to push.  Freak! I was already having to not push and I was only a 5! I couldn't get in the bath fast enough--relaxation, right?  It was 1:30am when I got in that bath.  I know this because I sat on the edge of my bed through a contraction and looked at the clock and told myself I could take a 30 minute break.  Again, if only I knew what that bath would bring!  Somehow moving about 10 feet to the tub and stepping in caused me to start having those undeniable feelings to push.  My mind immediately pictured tears and rips and other way gross things as a result of pushing a baby out when I was only half way ready.  Just sit down in the water.  That warm water and the jets felt great...for about 7 seconds.  The nurse left when I finally lowered myself in to the water and said it felt good.  Then the contraction came.  I just had to push, no way to deny this feeling.  Jaime pretty much yelled at me not to, I told him that the baby would come out my butt then, he immediately called the nurse back in (remember, he's been through this a few times with me and knows that I mean business when I start talking like this).  My nurse and another one rushed in to get me out of the tub. I had pushed hard about 3 more times.  During the third one and still in the tub, this other nurse got about an inch from my face, demanded I open my eyes and stop pushing.  I can still see her eyes and hear her intensity.  I was half walked half drug back to my bed.  I had zero desire to get in that bed.  So much for a relaxing 30 minute bath. Doctor Wonderful was in the room, I got to the foot of the bed, was told that if I got on the bed he'd break my water.  I leaned my arms behind me on the bed and pushed again.  I kinda got on the end of the bed and said I needed to push again.  I was shocked when I heard 2 voices--my nurse and doctor--say that I could do what "feels natural."  I pushed, my water was broken, a head came out, I pushed again, a body came out, more water gushed.  It was 1:51am.  Stella Lucia arrived along with the most gushing water ever.  Jaime described it as a hose turned on high.  He said the water soaked Doctor Wonderful.  I was holding my baby and couldn't believe it!  Jaime got to cut the cord.  While holding Stella, they started giving me 2 doses of Stadol.  Jaime seemed calm, doctor was down there, I was asking how bad I had torn, doctor said to push, I did.  Doctor Wonderful was morphing in to Doctor Crazy.  Pitocin was started.  What the heck was he doing pushing on my belly and digging around in me?!  Oh well, I had my 6 pound 8.8 ounce, 19.5 inch baby with 10 fingers and 10 toes, and my ears.  Someone said something about the medicine making me loopy, my eyes wouldn't quite open right.  Dr Crazy was still down there despite telling me that I didn't need any stitching up.  "Push," he said.  Oh yeah, that durn placenta still had to come out.  He said something about it being 15 minutes since delivery and we had to get it out.  Do you know what that means???  He stuck his hand in me and pulled my placenta out!  The cord had snapped he explained to my husband.  He said we were lucky that it didn't snap during pregnancy.  He said it would be cruel not to give me the Stadol.  The 2 of them examined the placenta while I loopily attempted to take a few phone pictures of Stella and send a couple texts announcing her birth.  Later when Dr H was talking with us he said, "You realize you went from a 5 to holding your baby in just under 30 minutes?"

 I can't believe she's about a week old already!

Day 1

Day 1

Day 1

Weekly Menu

So, as I sit here and write this entry way too early on a Saturday morning, I'm having some fairly regular contractions.  Yea!  I would love it if she decided to come today.  Who knows?  The anticipation is supposed to be fun :)  In light of that, here's the ideal menu plan for the week, but it might get thrown out the window.  We'll see!
Saturday--roasted whole chicken, veg of some sort, rice
Sunday--White Bean Chicken Soup, sub great northern beans for the cannellini beans, no cheese, probably extra bacon
Monday--
Tuesday--
Wednesday--Japanese Noodle Soup with Chicken and Spinach
Thursday--Thai Chicken Pizza
Friday--
Saturday--
Well, it's not complete, but I can't sit still any longer or I need to take nap.  I've been up since 4am after all.  Will try to fill it in later today.

Hang In There

Today we are a little over 34 weeks along.  After a few hours of contractions last night and several more contractions today, I was glad that today was my "hospital day."  Hospital day means Penelope and I spend most of our day at the hospital doing the sonogram and non-stress test for the baby.  Due to all the contractions, I received the special gift of being checked.  Lovely.  Anyway, I'm 30% effaced and dilated to a 1.  Not a very big deal in my opinion considering I walked around at a 3 for 3 weeks with Penelope.  I also had the privilege of having a liter of fluid pumped in to me and gave a urine donation.  Needless to say, we spent longer in the hospital today than usual.  Contractions have slowed and I've managed to avoid the bed rest.  :)  I've got way too much to get done before this baby shows her face! 
We got to bring a picture of her home today.  Not sure how much you'll be able to make out, but know that the picture is of her face (on the right), a hand (near the top), and her body (toward the left).

My goal is to make it to at least November 24th that way she's only 4 weeks early.  We'll see! :)

Projects and A Day Off

I've got some projects in the works, but haven't had much energy to work on them lately.  I should hopefully be able to post some pics and tutorials this week. 
I took the day off yesterday--I did practically nothing except drink hot tea and read most of the day.  Want to know why? Of course you do:)  I'm getting over an awful cold that took hold of me.  Today is Columbus Day.  In our house it's another day off of work and school and another day to get stuff done.  I need to write up our weekly menus (they're floating around in my head).  I've got laundry to get done.  I got the kitchen cleaned up this morning, but have the rest of the house to clean.  Ugg, taking a day off is almost more of a set back than a gain.  Oh well, at least I'm starting to feel better.  And, a highlight for today, it's Monday which means I get to have my weekly sonogram today :)  I'm enjoying getting to have little peeks at this sweet baby.
So, Happy Monday, Happy Columbus Day.  Enjoy your day!

Amazed and Blessed

I am so amazed and blessed.  Yesterday we had to have a level 2 sonogram to check on what could have been a very serious problem with the baby.  Praise God that all is good and we just have a semi-minor issue that requires biophysical profiles each week until delivery (12 weeks to go...this also means 12 weeks until Christmas!).  Still an issue, but one that should be fine.  My inbox was flooded yesterday with prayers and well-wishes from so many friends and family.  Just knowing that there are so many out there caring enough to say a prayer and then to also let me know they are thinking of us and praying is so amazing, humbling, and comforting.  Though it's not really enough, thank you.  Know that each one of you are in my prayers too.

Shedding Some Light

Today I think I'm going to tackle a difficult subject.  I've been thinking about writing about it for the last couple of weeks.  This morning on Facebook I came across someone else who wrote about it today and figured I probably should do so now too.  Depression, specifically depression during pregnancy.  What?!  Yes, did you know that depression (even with no other times of being depressed) during pregnancy can occur?  This current pregnancy of mine came just 3 short weeks after a miscarriage.  Shocked, definitely!  Ready, no.  Excited, no. Hormonally messed up, you bet!!!!  It's no wonder I fell.  Crazy hormones combined with awful all-day and night sickness.  Despite having 3 other kiddos to care for, I spent days in bed.  GROSS!  I've never been one to enjoy naps, stay in bed all day, go more than a day without showering, go days without getting dressed.  I didn't completely realize it at the time, I thought I was just pregnancy sick, but I had a feeling there was something more going on.   I suppose I'm sharing this just to help spread some awareness, to help others feel they aren't alone and that their feelings are okay.  I'm happy to say that now I am over it and am very excited to have this sweet baby. :)
Have you or anyone you know gone through this particular type of depression?  I encourage you to read the other article on this matter as she covers more and provides more information.

Source

Hot Pumpkin Spiced Milk

Oh my, if I end this pregnancy at 200 pounds I know exactly what I will blame it on!  Hot Pumpkin Spiced milk!  Don't judge it as a crazy pregnancy craving just yet.  It is so yummy and the perfect warm drink to end the day.  I was drinking homemade decaf pumpkin spice lattes, but they (along with horrible allergies) really messed up my sleep, as in I wasn't sleeping.  So, I decided to try the same drink just without the coffee.  I'm hooked and sipping some right now :)
So, here's the recipe and how to.
Hot Pumpkin Spiced Milk**
In a microwave safe mug, plop in a couple spoonfuls of sweetened condensed milk, a couple spoonfuls of pureed or canned pumpkin, a few dashes of pumpkin pie spice, then fill the mug about half way full with milk.  Stir it all up.  Heat in the microwave until all warmed up to your liking (I like mine practically boiling). Then stir again and fill the mug the rest of the way with milk and reheat if necessary (I always do).  Sip carefully and enjoy!
**To make this dairy free, use vanilla almond milk and toss in a bit of sugar or cinnamon sugar in place of the sweetened condensed milk.

Baby Sonograms

There is something both incredibly awesome and exciting and yet anxiety-filled about having a sonogram of the baby.  With each baby, I have looked forward to and dreaded the sonograms.  The dread has increased with each pregnancy.  I think it's because I recognize the true gift and miracle of life and how much can go wrong and how some of this can be revealed during the sonogram.  If something were revealed to not be right, we would of course still love and care for the baby, but like all parents, I'm sure, we hope and pray for healthy and the best.
Today we got to take a peek at our little one, who is now 22 weeks.  We still have a due date of Christmas Eve.  We have a healthy baby growing.  I am so thankful and praise God for this blessing.  I feel like I can now enjoy this pregnancy and look forward to holding her in my arms.  This pregnancy hasn't been easy.  The last 2 weeks have started to improve and I'm delighted to be off all my meds.  In the last 2 weeks, she has started kicking and moving...feels like a constant party in there.  With each movement, I'm reassured that all is well.  And the sonogram confirmed that too.
Here are a few pics of our daughter:

Waving hello :)

Looks like too many toes, but really only 10 there.

Baby profile

 

Gourmet Grilled Cheese Sandwiches

Last week I sauteed some baby bella mushrooms with all the fixings--butter, fresh thyme, red wine, LOVE.  Anyway, as fate would have it, by the time they were done me and my pregnancy had absolutely no desire for the incredibly awesome mushrooms.  Of course I wouldn't throw away such a loved food, so I put them in a dish and popped them in the fridge. 
Fast forward through the weekend and there I was Monday facing a fridge of various leftovers and a total craving for a grilled cheese sandwich.  If I weren't pregnant I may have just gone for the classic cheddar and bread and left it at that along with leaving all those left overs in the fridge.  However, I am pregnant and need to consciously eat well.  Also, I've been challenged to not waste any food.  So, I faced my fridge and pulled out most of it's contents.  And the result was love!
This week, yes the entire week (most of this pregnancy I've been able to stomach a food at most twice within the same week), I've been eating and LOVING grilled cheese sandwiches, mind you, not the classic plain Jane bread and cheddar ones.  This week, with the help of last week's cast off mushrooms, I've cooked up some fancy schmancy sandwiches with cheese and other leftover yummy-ness.
Like I mentioned, I started by taking out anything that might sound remotely good on a sandwich.  Things like chopped artichoke hearts, watercress, hummus, provolone, sauteed mushrooms, grilled chicken, garden fresh tomatoes, peppers, roasted peppers, fresh basil, mozzarella, oh the list is never ending sometimes! 
I had a beautiful sourdough loaf and some cheese from Whole Foods, called Belletoile, a triple ream Brie.  This cheese has the consistency of cream cheese but is sold in a wedge because when cold it is fairly firm.  My first gourmet sandwich of the week was on the sourdough with the Belletoile, some watercress, and sauteed mushrooms.  Delicious!  The cheese melted beautifully and held the sandwich together well.  The mushrooms provided a lovely meaty flavor and the watercress lent the sandwich a little peppery flavor.  I was hooked and was so happy that I had plenty more of the fixings to make more sandwiches.
Another one that was yummy was the provolone, chopped artichoke, hummus, couple last sauteed mushroom pieces, and roasted peppers (I bet some prosciutto would be tasty on this one too) on sourdough.  I loved the mozzarella, tomato, basil, splash of balsamic vinegar, and chicken grilled cheese sandwich too.  Just sitting her writing this up my mind is conjuring more combinations!
Besides using up leftovers in a surprisingly delicious way, I have been enjoying lunchtime much more than usual this week and have been inspired to create more gourmet grilled cheeses.
Are you inspired or just grossed out?